


Cold, Dead (and Robotic) Eyes

by FlameEmber



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, cute boyfriends taking care of robot babies, mondo threatens to shake it but no warnings other than that, the dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 10:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4217424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlameEmber/pseuds/FlameEmber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For an assignment for health class, Ishimaru and Mondo are forced to care for a robotic baby. Things go about as well as you might expect. </p><p>Heavily dialogue-based.</p><p>This is a birthday gift for my friend Hev! I hope you like it ^_^</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold, Dead (and Robotic) Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RingmasterHev](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RingmasterHev/gifts).



"I swear I'm gonna shake this fuckin' thing if it doesn't stop cryin' or whatever the fuck it's doin'."

Ishimaru gasps in combined shock and horror, ruby eyes narrowing and glinting with outrage as he glares at his boyfriend.

"Mondo! What are you saying! Surely you cannot mean such terrible words!"

The bikers huffs in irritation, turning away from the currently squalling baby-shaped robot lying on the table. His eardrums are throbbing.

"Nah, I know we can't do that. I fuckin' wanna, though. Stupid fuckin' class." He plants a square kick against the leg of the table; the "baby" only cries harder.

"Mondo, please! Watch your language! The doll could be reporting back to our teacher for all you know!"

He gives the prefect a funny look. "Yer just sayin' that 'cause ya don't like it when I swear."

Ishimaru's glare only intensifies; the biker immediately backtracks.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Ya wanna get a perfect score on this like on everythin' fuckin' else. I'll do my best, but no damn promises."

The disciplinarian gives him a look which quite plainly reads _yeah right,_ but he turns back to the baby quickly enough, sliding a hand underneath it and gently picking it up. 

To Mondo's abject horror and (although he'd never admit it) terror, the robot doll's eyelids slide open, revealing pitch-black, soul-stealing marbles in place of eyes. He gulps, letting out a sharp and uncharacteristic shout of surprise.

"F-Fuck, the damn thing's staring at me! 'S got cold, dead eyes or some shit!" He takes the opportunity to hide behind his boyfriend, clutching Ishimaru's shoulder as he peers at the innocuous robot, attempting to conceal his distrust of the thing. Demon child.

"What is the matter?" Ishimaru asks, puzzled, as he rocks the demon slowly. Mondo only shakes his head.

"I fuckin' hate that thing." 

Seemingly realizing that Mondo's potty language is not going to be rectified anytime soon, the hall monitor only sighs, rolling crimson eyes as he looks over the baby.

"Perhaps she is hungry?"

Now it's Mondo's turn to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, sure. And what the fuck are we supposed to give it? I doubt whippin' out a tit would fuckin' work. Besides, I ain't puttin' my nipple in that fuckin' thing's mouth."

A deep sigh. "Mondo, please stop being so melodramatic. I am not asking you to do such a thing. Besides, a plastic bottle came with her, correct?"

The biker remains silent for a moment before he realizes his mistake.

"Yeah. Yer right..."

He trudges over to the box in a state of irritation, rummaging through it and tossing away blankets, diapers, and even the instruction manual. Hey, whatever. It's not like they _needed_ any of that or anything.

"Here." Shoving the bottle into his boyfriend's hand, he then proceeds to stare the demon firmly in the eyes, as if daring it to make a move. _You better not fucking move._

Ishimaru only stares as lavender eyes squint, boring deep into glassy black spheres.

"What on earth are you doing?"

The biker turns away. "Nothin'."

The prefect only gives another exasperated sigh before sticking the tip of the bottle into the robot's mouth; however, the "formula" is immediately rejected. Ishimaru appears frustrated but not dejected.

"Perhaps she needs a diaper change, then."

Mondo only stares at his boyfriend like he's grown a second head, or said the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"It's a fuckin' robot."

"So?" Ishimaru doesn't seem to grasp that the simple fact of the demon being a robot should mean it does not, and never will, need to take a shit. Mondo shakes his head.

"Then you fuckin' do it."

Ishimaru only raises a large black eyebrow before moving to do the task at hand. 

"You do not seem to be helping much, Kyoudai." 

Of course, Mondo refuses to admit he _fears_ the demonic child; he coughs, turning bright red as he tries to ignore the deep, penetrating gaze of the beady black eyes over his boyfriend's shoulder. 

"I wonder what'll happen if I put it in the fuckin' sauna."

As he moves to rock the doll, the prefect sighs in irritation. "We cannot do that, Kyoudai. I do not enjoy its sounds any more than you do, but we must learn to live with it for the duration of our project."

Finally it appears to be quieting down; Mondo finds he can suddenly relax slightly.

"It's fuckin' terrible. I hate it."

Ishimaru sighs in relief as the baby's eyes slide shut; so does the biker, but for an entirely different reason.

"Just promise me one thing, Ishi."

"What is that?" the disciplinarian asks with some degree of curiosity, cocking his head to one side as he sets the demon down on the table once more.

"We are never, ever havin' kids."

"Not ever?" Ishimaru pouts slightly, sticking his bottom lip out in the very picture of heart-wrenching adorableness. Mondo melts, pressing a small kiss to his boyfriend's cheek.

"W-Well, maybe someday. But I'm not puttin' up with that shit."

Ishimaru only laughs, but is interrupted by a loud, earsplitting wail.

"F-Fuck!" Mondo bellows in sudden, renewed terror.


End file.
